Today's blog post is inspired by another article from my favorite site, Psych Central, and it focuses on a couple key traits that identify toxic people. These traits are consistently displayed by people both inside and outside of the MLM rackets, and are commonly found in people with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). It is important to note that these traits can be found in non-toxic people as well, but these traits are good indicators to be concerned with any hidden motives.
1. Gas-lighting: this is an attempt, of the toxic person, to cause you to second-guess or question yourself. The person wants to control your thinking by causing you to doubt what you may be sensing intuitively, struggling with within the relationship, or are concerned about.
Gas-lighting is constantly being utilized by the mainstream media and social media platforms. It is an excellent way to confuse people about controversial subjects such as politics, business, religion, gender studies, and any other subject that has differing points of view.
An example of a topic that suffers from regular gas-lighting is abortion. It doesn't matter if you are for abortion or against it because there will always be someone trying to make you doubt your position. If you are on the pro-choice side, then a pro-lifer may make claims such as, "What if you were aborted?", "Doesn't that potential being get a right to life?", "There are other options other than abortion", "Just because the fetus can't speak for itself doesn't mean it wants to be aborted", etc. etc. On the other side of the coin, a person that is pro-life may have a pro-choicer say, "Doesn't everyone have the right to do what they want with their body?", "What if the pregnancy came from a rape?", "Is it fair to burden society with a child I can't take care of?", etc. etc. Either way, there are plenty of inflammatory ways to make someone unsure of their views on topics like this, and gas-lighting is one of the most effective techniques utilized by media outlets to sway people based on hidden agendas from unseen people with deep pockets.
MLMers use gas-lighting like it is going out of style. They are constantly provoking people to question what they have been previously taught, and utilize a prospect's current status as a platform to provide doubt about everything and anything they had previously been taught. MLM gas-lighters can spin anything to meet their agenda, and regularly utilize faulty logic under the guise of mentorship.
An example of MLM gas-lighting is the idea that working for a boss is only going to make the bosses dreams come true. In other words, as long as you have a boss, then you will never be able to earn what you deserve (whatever that may mean). This, in turn, leads to the idea that MLM will give you the opportunities you never could have had working for the man. MLMers only need one of these gas-lighting ideas to work, because once a prospect accepts one of these claims they will be much more likely to accept many more destabilizing claims.
2. Love-Bombing: this is often an attempt of the toxic person to control you by “feeding you” with compliments, affection, protection and love, and all of the wonderful things that make relationships desirable. People who engage in this kind of control are most likely meeting criteria for narcissistic personality disorder and some times even sociopathy.
Love-bombing is just as effective at being used for good as it is for bad. Many people utilize love-bombing to help others overcome extreme mental blocks in their lives. My favorite example is personal trainers. These people are some of the best love-bombers in the world, because they can make anyone feel special and powerful. Not only are they some of the best love-bombers, but they are some of the most necessary, as many people need that special attention or they may become life-threateningly unhealthy. Love-bombing is one of the most powerful weapons in the world and it often gets a negative stigma, but there are many necessary situations in which love-bombing is the absolute best weapon for combating a negative situation.
MLMers constantly use love-bombing as a mean to an end. They don't care about the individuals or their dreams, but they do care about the money prospects can spend on the products. Therefore, they utilize love-bombing as a mask to hide their dubious plans of extracting as much money as possible before prospects realize they have been scammed. My former sponsor was the most upbeat person, and he always made me feel like he cared when I spoke. However, when I refused to join he quickly vanished and so did the rest of the people I met.
MLMers are some of the most toxic people you will encounter because they don't care who they hurt in the pursuit of money. They will use powerful psychological techniques to divorce people from their communities and their wallets. They spread like viral infections as they ravage communities leaving broken dreams and sobering disillusions. MLMers may be malicious or blissfully ignorant, but the damage they cause is still the same. If an MLMer is really trying to do what is best for their family and their community while claiming to be pure of heart, then I ask, "Why do so many people suffer when trying to make a few extra dollars with your business opportunities?"
Source: https://blogs.psychcentral.com/caregivers/2017/05/avoiding-toxic-people-gas-lighting-love-bombing/
1. Gas-lighting: this is an attempt, of the toxic person, to cause you to second-guess or question yourself. The person wants to control your thinking by causing you to doubt what you may be sensing intuitively, struggling with within the relationship, or are concerned about.
Gas-lighting is constantly being utilized by the mainstream media and social media platforms. It is an excellent way to confuse people about controversial subjects such as politics, business, religion, gender studies, and any other subject that has differing points of view.
An example of a topic that suffers from regular gas-lighting is abortion. It doesn't matter if you are for abortion or against it because there will always be someone trying to make you doubt your position. If you are on the pro-choice side, then a pro-lifer may make claims such as, "What if you were aborted?", "Doesn't that potential being get a right to life?", "There are other options other than abortion", "Just because the fetus can't speak for itself doesn't mean it wants to be aborted", etc. etc. On the other side of the coin, a person that is pro-life may have a pro-choicer say, "Doesn't everyone have the right to do what they want with their body?", "What if the pregnancy came from a rape?", "Is it fair to burden society with a child I can't take care of?", etc. etc. Either way, there are plenty of inflammatory ways to make someone unsure of their views on topics like this, and gas-lighting is one of the most effective techniques utilized by media outlets to sway people based on hidden agendas from unseen people with deep pockets.
MLMers use gas-lighting like it is going out of style. They are constantly provoking people to question what they have been previously taught, and utilize a prospect's current status as a platform to provide doubt about everything and anything they had previously been taught. MLM gas-lighters can spin anything to meet their agenda, and regularly utilize faulty logic under the guise of mentorship.
An example of MLM gas-lighting is the idea that working for a boss is only going to make the bosses dreams come true. In other words, as long as you have a boss, then you will never be able to earn what you deserve (whatever that may mean). This, in turn, leads to the idea that MLM will give you the opportunities you never could have had working for the man. MLMers only need one of these gas-lighting ideas to work, because once a prospect accepts one of these claims they will be much more likely to accept many more destabilizing claims.
2. Love-Bombing: this is often an attempt of the toxic person to control you by “feeding you” with compliments, affection, protection and love, and all of the wonderful things that make relationships desirable. People who engage in this kind of control are most likely meeting criteria for narcissistic personality disorder and some times even sociopathy.
Love-bombing is just as effective at being used for good as it is for bad. Many people utilize love-bombing to help others overcome extreme mental blocks in their lives. My favorite example is personal trainers. These people are some of the best love-bombers in the world, because they can make anyone feel special and powerful. Not only are they some of the best love-bombers, but they are some of the most necessary, as many people need that special attention or they may become life-threateningly unhealthy. Love-bombing is one of the most powerful weapons in the world and it often gets a negative stigma, but there are many necessary situations in which love-bombing is the absolute best weapon for combating a negative situation.
MLMers constantly use love-bombing as a mean to an end. They don't care about the individuals or their dreams, but they do care about the money prospects can spend on the products. Therefore, they utilize love-bombing as a mask to hide their dubious plans of extracting as much money as possible before prospects realize they have been scammed. My former sponsor was the most upbeat person, and he always made me feel like he cared when I spoke. However, when I refused to join he quickly vanished and so did the rest of the people I met.
MLMers are some of the most toxic people you will encounter because they don't care who they hurt in the pursuit of money. They will use powerful psychological techniques to divorce people from their communities and their wallets. They spread like viral infections as they ravage communities leaving broken dreams and sobering disillusions. MLMers may be malicious or blissfully ignorant, but the damage they cause is still the same. If an MLMer is really trying to do what is best for their family and their community while claiming to be pure of heart, then I ask, "Why do so many people suffer when trying to make a few extra dollars with your business opportunities?"
Source: https://blogs.psychcentral.com/caregivers/2017/05/avoiding-toxic-people-gas-lighting-love-bombing/
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is actually quite pathological, and has become frighteningly common in the developed world. In some places, it is rapidly becoming the norm among young persons.
ReplyDeleteI don't deny that persons pushing MLMs or involved in their operation may suffer from this mental derangement. This would especially be true of the scheme-inventors and the higher-ups. But Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is so utterly evil and self-absorbed and vicious that it tends to be a problem of the youthful and the affluent who live in big cities, and who are have an exaggerated sense of their own importance and entitlement. The lower-level persons in an MLM scheme are usually not in this demographic group.
Also, MLM members do have to maintain some sort of amiable attitude towards strangers and business associates, so the more flagrant symptoms of the illness must be kept hidden or under control. Gas-lighting, for example (which is usually much more hostile and destructive than mere verbal arguments over some controversial topic) is specifically aimed at breaking down a victim's sanity and sense of self. It is diabolically cruel, and often drives the victim to suicide or insanity.
In MLMs, the main motivation is making money, not destroying individuals (though MLMs have no compunction about doing this if it will line up-line pockets). Someone with NPD is essentially filled with hate and loathing for others. His motive isn't pecuniary, but savagely diabolical.
I can see Love-Bombing as a temporary tactic in NPD, as a means of manipulating someone else. But it never lasts for very long. The malignant narcissist (another phrase to describe an NPD person) eventually shuts it off. In MLMs, love-bombing goes on regularly as long as the victim contributes money upwards.
The major symptoms of NPD are hatred and contempt for anyone perceived as a social inferior; an overwhelming sense of entitlement; unshakable pride and arrogance; absolute unwillingness to admit a fault or a mistake; programmatic selfishness and greed; a madly consumerist lifestyle; obsessive health and dietary concerns; and an incapacity to listen any contradiction, or to practice any self-criticism.
This kind of toxicity can exist among MLMers, but you find it more among the Gen X, Gen Y, and Millennial scum who are now moving upwards from middle management to the higher levels of banking, investment, and corporate life. It is also pandemically out of control among academics.
Anonymous,
DeleteI find a chronic problem that my generation has is the unbelievably flawed value system. They are parroting celebrities and "Reality Shows", because those are the role models of today. They have no interest in participating in worldly affairs, caring about their communities, or being productive in society. Instead, they would rather spend their time drinking all night long, sleeping all day, collecting a monthly pay check from the government, and staying at their parent's houses.
One of my biggest gripes these days is what has happened to certain television networks in the pursuit of ratings. MTV has become a trash can of "Reality Television" and BS with good looking people fighting with one another, getting incredibly drunk, and constantly having sex. They make this look like a status quo for people 18-35. TLC (The Learning Channel) is filled with the absolute worst examples of human beings (Honey Boo Boo, Dance Moms, My 600 lb. life), and is literally there to show people it is okay to be completely negligent and awful as a person. Discovery channel somehow transformed into the same types of things as TLC, but they really love filming all of it in Alaska. My favorite one is these "Alaskan Bush People" that have been easily ousted by the fact that they are a complete sham and yet they are still the most popular show.
I don't believe young people have the ability to disseminate this information effectively, and often can't tell the difference between "Reality television" and reality. They are plagued by false gods, the worst media in history, and the inability to fail or be "Normal". Everyone has a "I'm special complex", and it is resulting in the worst levels of production and effort.
Sorry to hear that academia is taking a turn for the worse. At the K-12 levels, I would say it is one stop away from the movie "Idiocracy". This new "Common Core" Math is quite possibly the worst abomination to everything that has previously been established in the subject.
Narcissism is an interesting term. I think you came on the scene too late, but Amway's biggest defender, IBOFightback AKA David Steadson was a huge narcissist. He was vey eloquent in setting up arguments where you are both on the extreme end of a position but he often tried to get you to defend your extreme position rather than defending his position (pro-Amway).
ReplyDeleteJoe,
DeleteThe way people argue extremes these days is completely infuriating. We get stuck fighting so hard for the outliers that we end up hurting the majority. I love the utilitarian principle (for most things), but these people that fight for the outliers while preaching an undying love for the majority are the biggest hypocrites and most awful narcissists I have ever dealt with. They act as though they have the most open-minded philosophies as they continue to destroy the very foundations that helped make us as accepting as possible without imploding. Sorry for that little rant.
On a side note, anyone that argues the extremes of the points (a.k.a an extremist), usually doesn't have much to offer as a solution. They are more focused on always having something to argue about and wasting time describing the problems. They are the glass half empty people on steroids. There is no room for discussion.
As a member of academia for nearly half a century, I can vouch for the utter degradation of the profession.
ReplyDeleteMost academics have never held a job outside of the college or university that they work for. They have never served in the military, or labored at any really difficult and meagerly paid work. They have never sweated, suffered, or struggled to make ends meet. They pay no attention to their children, who are basically raised by nannies and the household help. They mostly live in small self-contained academic communities where they meet, talk, and socialize with others who are exactly like themselves. Intellectually, they are as inbred as the inhabitants of Tristan da Cunha.
They make outrageously inflated salaries for a minimal amount of actual work. They are utterly contemptuous of anyone in the working class, or in any position of social inferiority to them.
They are bigoted in the extreme, and will not tolerate the slightest verbal dissent from what they believe or cherish. They nourish grudges against anyone who crosses them, and are clique-ish and catty in the extreme. They are pushy, arbitrary, demanding, and have an elephantine sense of entitlement.
Many of them have their jobs not based on intrinsic qualifications, but only because they have the right genitals (a vagina or a transgendered crotch), the right skin color (black, brown , coffee, or anything that isn't white), the right politics (leftist, left-liberal, Marxist, feminist, or simply freaked-out), and the right conformist attitudes of solidarity and groupthink. Most of them are unbearable.
This is why I insist on teaching either the very early morning classes, or the very late evening classes. This way I don't have to have any contact at all with my colleagues.
And NPD is as common among them as malaria is in the tropics.
Anonymous,
DeleteI just graduated with a bachelors in...Liberal Studies (embarrassing to admit). My major consisted of 90+% girls (they were not women), and had an 80+% transfer rate to schools and getting a teaching credential. These people were the worst for inspiration, and sadly the new generation of teachers isn't going to get better. They were completely incapable of critical thought as they worshiped the ground of their professors and often spent their free time chatting with them instead of networking with their peers. They were the ultimate nerds, geeks, and recluses to be spawned into the world.
The liberal studies department is the epitome of the problems in the west as "Professors" quoted philosophers like Nietzsche, Descartes, and Aristotle, but they couldn't make them apply to the current world. They were enshrined in their degrees and publications, and they acted like they were on some legendary pedestal in the highest ivory tower. Just being in their presence was a sign of their mercy.
I was probably a cancer for them as I managed to have an issue every semester and raised some sort of hell. The worst thing I saw was their ability to destroy my future with the push of a finger. I had a "Professor" that literally sabotaged my grade because she didn't like me and I wasn't some conformist twat with her name tattooed to my chest. She had the ability to completely abuse her power because she, much like the rest of the department, was a dinosaur and could never be fired or written up. That was my first taste of how the bureaucracy works and how effed up the whole system is.
These "Professors" sit in these classes looking at mirrored reflections of themselves acting as though they are bringing culture and diversity to the world. They act as though they are egalitarian, but they are more extremist than most.
College was one of the most enlightening experiences as it was a smaller example of how the leftists run the world.
I recently was told that extreme leftists get into media and teaching because they have to have a platform for voicing their opinions while extreme rightists get into business and try to make money because their conservative position lends itself to that field. Thought?
Dear Dr. Doe --
ReplyDeleteI teach in a Liberal Studies program too, believe it or not. Yes, these types of programs are the very worst offenders. The abuse of power over students is horrendous, and makes me ashamed of my profession. Everything you recount is totally familiar to me. I have heard the same complaints from many students.
I am a right-wing conservative in academia because language, literature, and the world of letters are my very reason for existence. I could never be anything else except a scholar, a writer, and a teacher. These things are what I was born for, and so I have to be an academic.
In general, I think what you have heard is generally correct -- conservatives and right-wingers don't go into academia because it is essentially "enemy territory," and they would face incredible bigotry and disdain from their colleagues. Instead they enter the business world to make money. The down-side to this is that persons who are exclusively wrapped up in the business world tend, over time, to become materialistic and philistine. The worst examples, of course are the creeps who think up MLM schemes.