Today's blog post is about MLM and its consistent abuse of boundaries, especially when it comes to marriage. MLM, unlike most other businesses, does not stray away from people's personal lives, but rather attempts to merge with it. MLM is often pitched as a "side income opportunity" with the potential to become "a retirement opportunity". It is supposed to be flexible and allow people to "grow" at their own pace. However, the more a prospect becomes involved with the "training", the more time and energy the "business" requires. Also, because of the unorthodox hours in which MLM holds its "meetings" and "seminars", it directly conflicts with the personal lives of the prospects and members. Ideally, in the MLM "business", a member would look for prospects during the day, then spend their evenings and weekends trying to convert potential recruits into members, and even if a member doesn't have new recruits, they are still supposed to attend every meeting.
Marriages become the target of MLM scrutiny, because marriages can directly interfere with the MLM "business". Assuming both partners are not engaged in the MLM, the MLM leaders will create scenarios in which both the marriage and the MLM "business" cannot survive in harmony. MLM leaders will force spouses to choose meetings over important events, such as weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, or anything else that may conflict with their agendas. MLM leaders show no remorse as they become more demanding of a prospect or member's time, and they will use a combination of "love-bombing" and passive-aggressive threats to make a spouse choose MLM over the other option. Eventually, the MLM will create a scenario, commonly referred to as an ultimatum, in which a spouse will have to choose between their marriage and the MLM "business". This is usually one of the final steps before complete indoctrination and the slow destruction of everything an MLM prospect or member had.
MLMs are also financially draining as they require a consistent monthly fee to continue to participate. Note, the FTC specifically says pay-to-play schemes are illegal, which is why MLMs have carefully disguised this fee as products, tools, services, meetings, seminars, and occasionally a membership. The MLMs require a minimum monthly purchase of some or all of these categories, or a MLM member may not continue to qualify for bonuses and their "businesses" could be dismantled assuming they have "downline" members. These categories can be expensive, and as many as 99% of MLM members may not generate enough revenue from their "businesses" to cover these monthly fees. This causes a tremendous strain on marriages as one of the two spouses could sink thousands of dollars into this "business" while forcing the other spouse to cover the losses, or worse, could force both spouses into debt and ruin their finances and credit. This process will continue until there is no money left or the MLM participant voluntarily leaves.
MLM and marriage is a particularly special topic because it effects one of our most sacred pillars of society. There are very few relatable subjects across all borders, but marriage is something everyone can relate to and understand. This is why MLMs, being responsible for the destruction of relationships and marriage, continues to be written about regularly.
The first blog I ever read, "Married to an Ambot", is designed around the misery of being committed to a person that chooses "Amway" over their marriage. Luckily, they have a happy ending. "Joe Cool", the author of "Amway - The Dream or the Scheme?", was engaged when he was in "Amway", and he too walked away from the "business" after they challenged him to choose between the two. I also was presented with the ultimatum from an "Amway" Emerald, and he told me, "The business works better when you are with someone that is also in the business, you may want to reconsider your relationship", I chose my relationship. Even though these three examples all reflect good decision making, they should not be treated as a regular outcome, and even though these three examples are about "Amway" (because apparently the "American Way" is to promote separation and divorce), there can be examples found across all MLMs.
Here are some tips to help prevent MLM from destroying your relationship or marriage:
1. Listen to your spouse. This person agreed, usually in front of a large group, to be there for you no matter what. Ask why they think MLM is the answer, and then suggest an alternative in a positive or uplifting fashion. Do not ridicule them, they aren't your puppy.
2. Treat your spouse kindly. Usually, MLM is appealing because the spouse is receiving "love-bombing". You can provide this as well, in a constructive way, and then encourage your spouse to do more research about the "business".
3. Have your spouse talk to someone with business acumen about the "opportunity". This won't be effective unless the spouse is actually willing to listen, and could backfire if they are already indoctrinated. They have to be ready to listen to what a business person has to say, and not be defensive with their programmed rebuttals.
4. Do not send an ultimatum. Ultimatums almost never have the anticipated result, and usually cause the person to vehemently reject your option. Nobody wants to be forced into a corner, especially someone that thinks they are doing what is best for the family.
5. Remove your spouse from the routine. Often, people find themselves in a rut, and life just seems strangely more difficult and frustrating. Take some time away from everything, then come back and approach the situation with a clear head and fresh eyes. You will be amazed at how much less dreary things seem you step away for a short period.
Marriages become the target of MLM scrutiny, because marriages can directly interfere with the MLM "business". Assuming both partners are not engaged in the MLM, the MLM leaders will create scenarios in which both the marriage and the MLM "business" cannot survive in harmony. MLM leaders will force spouses to choose meetings over important events, such as weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, or anything else that may conflict with their agendas. MLM leaders show no remorse as they become more demanding of a prospect or member's time, and they will use a combination of "love-bombing" and passive-aggressive threats to make a spouse choose MLM over the other option. Eventually, the MLM will create a scenario, commonly referred to as an ultimatum, in which a spouse will have to choose between their marriage and the MLM "business". This is usually one of the final steps before complete indoctrination and the slow destruction of everything an MLM prospect or member had.
MLMs are also financially draining as they require a consistent monthly fee to continue to participate. Note, the FTC specifically says pay-to-play schemes are illegal, which is why MLMs have carefully disguised this fee as products, tools, services, meetings, seminars, and occasionally a membership. The MLMs require a minimum monthly purchase of some or all of these categories, or a MLM member may not continue to qualify for bonuses and their "businesses" could be dismantled assuming they have "downline" members. These categories can be expensive, and as many as 99% of MLM members may not generate enough revenue from their "businesses" to cover these monthly fees. This causes a tremendous strain on marriages as one of the two spouses could sink thousands of dollars into this "business" while forcing the other spouse to cover the losses, or worse, could force both spouses into debt and ruin their finances and credit. This process will continue until there is no money left or the MLM participant voluntarily leaves.
MLM and marriage is a particularly special topic because it effects one of our most sacred pillars of society. There are very few relatable subjects across all borders, but marriage is something everyone can relate to and understand. This is why MLMs, being responsible for the destruction of relationships and marriage, continues to be written about regularly.
The first blog I ever read, "Married to an Ambot", is designed around the misery of being committed to a person that chooses "Amway" over their marriage. Luckily, they have a happy ending. "Joe Cool", the author of "Amway - The Dream or the Scheme?", was engaged when he was in "Amway", and he too walked away from the "business" after they challenged him to choose between the two. I also was presented with the ultimatum from an "Amway" Emerald, and he told me, "The business works better when you are with someone that is also in the business, you may want to reconsider your relationship", I chose my relationship. Even though these three examples all reflect good decision making, they should not be treated as a regular outcome, and even though these three examples are about "Amway" (because apparently the "American Way" is to promote separation and divorce), there can be examples found across all MLMs.
Here are some tips to help prevent MLM from destroying your relationship or marriage:
1. Listen to your spouse. This person agreed, usually in front of a large group, to be there for you no matter what. Ask why they think MLM is the answer, and then suggest an alternative in a positive or uplifting fashion. Do not ridicule them, they aren't your puppy.
2. Treat your spouse kindly. Usually, MLM is appealing because the spouse is receiving "love-bombing". You can provide this as well, in a constructive way, and then encourage your spouse to do more research about the "business".
3. Have your spouse talk to someone with business acumen about the "opportunity". This won't be effective unless the spouse is actually willing to listen, and could backfire if they are already indoctrinated. They have to be ready to listen to what a business person has to say, and not be defensive with their programmed rebuttals.
4. Do not send an ultimatum. Ultimatums almost never have the anticipated result, and usually cause the person to vehemently reject your option. Nobody wants to be forced into a corner, especially someone that thinks they are doing what is best for the family.
5. Remove your spouse from the routine. Often, people find themselves in a rut, and life just seems strangely more difficult and frustrating. Take some time away from everything, then come back and approach the situation with a clear head and fresh eyes. You will be amazed at how much less dreary things seem you step away for a short period.
