15 Common Defense Mechanisms/Intellectualization

Intellectualization is used to suppress emotions when someone is being confronted with a difficult situation. It is as much a mouthful by pronunciation as it is by definition, and it is extremely difficult to detect if the person deploying this tactic is commonly reserved by nature. We commonly see this defense mechanism used in popular political debates, news interviews, and highly controversial subjects (such as abortion, capital punishment, immigration), because people who exhibit emotions during these events are often immediately discredited.

Intellectualization: Intellectualization is the overemphasis on thinking when confronted with an unacceptable impulse, situation or behavior without employing any emotions whatsoever to help mediate and place the thoughts into an emotional, human context. Rather than deal with the painful associated emotions, a person might employ intellectualization to distance themselves from the impulse, event or behavior. For instance, a person who has just been given a terminal medical diagnosis, instead of expressing their sadness and grief, focuses instead on the details of all possible fruitless medical procedures. (http://psychcentral.com/lib/15-common-defense-mechanisms/)

Have you ever seen Harry Potter and watched as a character insults or frustrates Professor Snape (Alan Rickman R.I.P)? He does show a minimal level of emotions at time, but often he will counter with a cold calculated and overly accentuated response. He uses intellectualization, because he does not know how to channel his frustration in a more regularly recognized emotional outburst. Intellectualization is also commonly seen with the stereotypical math teachers, and it is an internal response to discomfort rather than an external response.  

Does intellectualization exist in MLMers??? Absolutely, especially when it is an upline talking to a downline at any part of the chain. Upline will always strive to show some sort of mental superiority over downline because of their edification. This means they cannot show any form of emotion, other than a false smile and pleasantness, because that would be discrediting themselves and/or bringing them down to a lower level of being. It is a philosophical ploy to ensure downline never questions their advice, and comes to them whenever they have a comment or concern.  They are constantly training themselves and their downline to refer to the same, canned, repetitive discussion points whenever a controversial point is brought to their attention, and as they get more practice with these responses, they become more and more cold to the subject matter. An example of this is, if someone asks if the MLM is a pyramid scheme. They will already have a reply designed to confuse or sound unquestionable and they will deliver the response with little to no emotion. This will intellectualize the concern and usually dissuade the other party from continuing to pressure on the subject. 

If you feel upline has all of the answers and is delivering them to you in rapid succession, then you should take some time to research exactly what they are saying, and why it seems to make sense. There are many resources to disprove the intellectualizations, and if you continue to pressure them on certain points, then the cracks will begin to show. You will start to see upline regress through the other defense mechanisms until they reach denial. Once they have gone back to denial, then the point is moot and should not be pursued further, because you cannot be rational with the irrational.

A Special Thank You!

I coming up on my second week of blogging, and am already featured as a guest blogger, linked to other blogger's pages, and in a few other forums thanks to some very passionate people!  So, it is time to give thanks!

I started this journey about a year ago, after I was propositioned to join an MLM by a co-worker (I may put that story on this blog, but I need to fix it up, and only if enough people are interested in reading it). After I went through the initiation process, I was offered a position in the group. I politely declined because this was not the way I wanted to generate an extra income, and it looked like it did a lot of damage to many people. I could have walked away and pretended like those couple of weeks never happened, but I really needed to know why these businesses were successful, and how I got so excited at the beginning.

I started my learning by going online and Googling about the particular company and came across two very successful blogs. The first blog was Married to an Ambot (marriedtoanambot.blogspot.com), and it is currently still being written by Anna Banana. She is a firecracker, and she has no problem telling people exactly how she feels. I learned a lot about the manipulation of MLM, the specific rhetoric used by MLMers, and most importantly, that I wasn't alone!

The second blog I went to was the top link on Anna's page, and it was called Amway The Dream or the Scheme (http://amwayscheme.blogspot.com/). This blog, written by Joe Cool, was a much more thought provoking way of presenting MLM material. I'd like to say it was my second stage in releasing from the Matrix (referene to the movie), because at first I was angry, but then I became hungry to learn more! Joe didn't just get me thinking, but rather engaged many people in his blog posts, some were supporters of MLM and some were against MLM. It was an amazing way to begin engaging in a dialogue with the people that supported a business I was against. However, the dialogues quickly turned sour as the MLMers would not continue to respond, or would divert the topic from its original premise to an abstraction. I needed to find more!

The third blog I found was Lazy Man and Money (www.lazymanandmoney.com). This is the blog where I learned how to make connections from the MLM company I was propositioned by, and all of the others that are in existence. I learned how to properly form my points with due diligence and proper research. I learned how to dissect an MLMers words to a precise degree, and understand why they had so many fallacies in their position. This is where I stepped out of my comfort zone, and began to truly grasp the magnitude of the MLM situation.

The fourth blog I went to was MLM the American Dream Made Nightmare by David Brear (http://mlmtheamericandreammadenightmare.blogspot.com/). David is probably the smartest guy I have ever read, and trying to write to him is a truly daunting task. To this day, I still get fearful I am using a word incorrectly, or writing like an idiot, because he made me look up more words in a year than I had my entire life. David was the first MLM writer to truly engage me personally, and he helped me launch my blog on different platforms. He is a truly special individual, and his personal story with MLM is both brilliant and horrifying. It is a must read experience.

The fifth and final MLM writer/blogger I want to mention is Ethan Vanderbuilt (EthanVanderbuilt.com). I only recently reached out to Ethan, but he has already let me write a post on his website, and has directed more traffic to my blog than I got the first week and a half! He is an exceptional writer, and a great person to reach out to personally.

These are some of the most influential people in writing about MLM, and they are some of the best members of society. They go out of their way to keep the public informed, and work very hard for very little or NOTHING AT ALL to help their fellow human beings. They were the influences I needed to push me towards writing about MLM. They are the members of society I wish to emulate through my writings, and they are the people who make this world such a great place to live in.

Thank you!

15 Common Defense Mechanisms/Displacement

Displacement is very similar to projection, except for one key difference. Instead of the person projecting an attack that would more accurately describe their behaviors, they displace the anger towards one person by targeting an unrelated individual. Displacement can come from a variety of different scenarios, and can be both good and bad. One of my favorite positive forms of displacement is paying it forward where someone in front of you will pay for your items without you knowing. This good deed is designed to start a chain effect where one person engages another person with a nice gesture which in turn leads the new person to displace good energy to another unrelated individual.

Displacement: Displacement is the redirecting of thoughts feelings and impulses directed at one person or object, but taken out upon another person or object. People often use displacement when they cannot express their feelings in a safe manner to the person they are directed at. The classic example is the man who gets angry at his boss, but can’t express his anger to his boss for fear of being fired. He instead comes home and kicks the dog or starts an argument with his wife. The man is redirecting his anger from his boss to his dog or wife. Naturally, this is a pretty ineffective defense mechanism, because while the anger finds a route for expression, it’s misapplication to other harmless people or objects will cause additional problems for most people. (http://psychcentral.com/lib/15-common-defense-mechanisms/2/)

Have you ever been out in public and had a random person provoke a fight with a stranger? Maybe you are at a bar and a local drunk is outside starting trouble, or a person in the check out line at a grocery store begins to fight with the clerk when their coupon doesn't work. In these scenarios, it is never about the person they are instigating an issue with, but rather an unrelated event that has been causing inner turmoil throughout the day. People can displace anger on different individuals as well as themselves. Instead of dealing with the problem directly at the source, they will repress the issue until it has to come out.

Displacement in MLM is dangerous!!! MLMers have a very difficult time dealing with the negative emotions they are repressing, because it is forbidden to show any form of negative emotion when they are in public or doing business related activities. This leads to potentially dangerous displacement as they release their anger upon unsuspecting targets. There are many stories of MLMers coming home and verbally or physically abusing their children and wives, or vehemently attacking a prospect or downline when they aren't following upline's commands properly, or even come onto a blog and write a particularly nasty note that has nothing to do with the article. In any case, there is one main response to displacement.

You can remove yourself from the situation. You might be able to walk away, but you might also need to get the police involved. Either way, this is the best way to handle an MLMer that is displacing their anger.

Do not engage them!!! If you try to be rational with an irrational person, it will be equivalent to banging your head against a brick wall, and if you try to respond to their anger with your own anger then you will only escalate the situation. It is important to let the MLMer calm down, and then approach them in a regular tone of voice with specific points about your concerns. If they begin to displace more anger, then you must remove yourself from the situation until they are able to listen. This process will repeat until the MLMer learns and preferably leaves the business, or you may have to consider making a permanent exit. Either way, you must look out for your own well being first and foremost.

15 Common Defense Mechanisms/Repression

Repression is one of the more commonly used defense mechanisms for adults, and particularly for men. Bottling up emotions can be extremely damaging in both the short and long terms. People can be resentful at first and eventually grow to be more and more distrustful of others. It is important not to repress our feelings of discomfort, and instead engage them in a healthy dialogue with someone else.

Repression: Repression is the unconscious blocking of unacceptable thoughts, feelings, and impulses. The key to repression is that people do it unconsciously, so they often have very little control over it. "Repressed Memories" are memories that have been unconsciously blocked from access or view. But because memory is very malleable and ever-changing, it is not playing a DVD back of your life. The DVD has been filtered and even altered by your life experiences, even by what you've read or viewed. (http://psychcentral.com/lib/15-common-defense-mechanisms/)

Have you ever had a friend that refuses to tell you about their problems, even if you know they just had a serious trauma? Many times, people are not able to address the problems because they feel society will judge them. Yet, other times people can't voice their problems because they simply don't know how, or worse, don't know they have any to voice. Repression activates constantly to protect us from being overly stressed, angry, frustrated, or even tired. Emotions can be draining, and it is impossible for our brains to trigger and understand every situation with regards to how it makes us feel.

Repression can be dangerous. Repression can lead to permanent psychological conditions when not addressing serious traumas effectively. People can develop different personalities to help cope with the issues, self medicate, or worse commit suicide. Childhood traumas are a main source of repression, because our brains haven't fully developed yet. Any time there is a childhood trauma, it is particularly difficult to understand the full spectrum of emotions that are attached to the situation, and it is even harder to verbalize how it made you transition into your later years of life.

Repression in MLM is BAD!!! There are two main issues to address with repression and MLM:

1. Current MLMers are encouraged not to voice concerns or to question their uplines if something seems wrong. Instead, it is taught to repress every emotion other than happiness, because everything else will stop them from their goals of endless wealth and success. It is important to stay positive and focused on the track provided, because that is the only way their system will work. The repression they teach is both unhealthy and a form of brainwashing. They are conditioning MLMers to reject previous teachings, disregard what others say, and not to think for themselves.

2. Former MLMers are taught to repress their feelings about the business. They are conditioned to take full responsibility for their failures, and taught that the system is fool proof. Also former MLMers will repress their feelings, because they don't want to deal with the embarrassment of losing money or being duped. It is hard for people to admit when they made a mistake, and former MLMers realize they have made BIG mistakes. Former MLMers will choose to move forward with their lives rather than dwell on the past and cut their losses, because they are still conditioned to not think of the negatives. Former MLMers will repress their feelings because they fear the company is too big to do anything, and their voice will fall on deaf ears.

Repression surrounds our every day lives, and MLM leaders take advantage of this defense mechanism to help prevent repercussions from their dubious tactics.

15 Common Defense Mechanisms/Reaction Formation

Reaction formation is another way of "killing someone with kindness". This defense mechanism is based on a sarcastic response to being upset by blatantly acting the opposite way. This is a tougher defense mechanism to notice, because some people are very good at hiding how they truly feel. Instead of explaining their feelings, they could continue to act as though everything is wonderful, even though it is the opposite.

Reaction Formation: Reaction formation is the converting of unwanted or dangerous thoughts, feelings or impulses into their opposites. For instance, a woman who is very angry with her boss and would like to quit her job may instead be overly kind and generous toward her boss and express a desire to keep working there forever. She is incapable of expressing the negative emotions of anger and unhappiness with her job, and instead becomes overly kind to publicly demonstrate her lack of anger and unhappiness. (http://psychcentral.com/lib/15-common-defense-mechanisms/)

Have you ever had a friend that only buys people gifts voluntarily when they are upset? It may be as simple as bringing in a cup of coffee or a piece of cake, but you know it is uncharacteristic of their day to day habits. These are routine versions of reaction formation to an underlying problem that a person is having troubles addressing verbally. This is an unauthentic representation of generosity, and usually results in a very awkward moment before confronting the situation. 

Reaction formation in MLM is Real!!! MLMers are constantly harnessing reaction formation to deal with their day to day issues with society. They are upset with their current statuses and utilize reaction formation to lift their spirits. In a group setting, it can trigger a euphoric feeling as the reaction formations feed off of each participant, until it changes from a sarcastic response to an unpleasant situation, into a deeper positive emotion. This can be described as a different form of mob mentality, where people utilize the group to help validate their fake emotions of goodness. 

MLMers will go out of their way to be nice to strangers in the pursuit of their own self-gain. They will transform themselves into a giant reaction formation to the evil world they feel surrounded by, and create an egregious display of caring and authenticity. They will create a matrix to live in and validate their reaction formations among one another until it completely envelops their being, and then MLMers will create harsher lines between themselves and the "others" living in the outside world. This is where the cult-like behavior begins, as they strive to be a genuine and moral group of people, but it is based on a lie and the deception to themselves is magnified by the corruption of the leaders who are lining their pockets with their disciples incomes. The leaders use loaded analogies and jargon to create harsher lines between themselves and reality, which ultimately isolates the members from friends, family, co-workers, and eventually anyone else that is not involved in MLM.

15 Common Defense Mechanisms/Projection

Projection is one of the most common defense mechanisms. It is an interesting defense mechanism, because it creates an irrational sense of winning as a person will blame their adversary for behaviors they are currently using. This technique is almost the same as the game "shotgun" when trying to get the front seat of the car. As long as a person claims the other person is displaying bad behaviors first, then they are winning the issue at hand.

Projection: Projection is the misattribution of a person’s undesired thoughts, feelings or impulses onto another person who does not have those thoughts, feelings or impulses. Projection is used especially when the thoughts are considered unacceptable for the person to express, or they feel completely ill at ease with having them. For example, a spouse may be angry at their significant other for not listening, when in fact it is the angry spouse who does not listen. Projection is often the result of a lack of insight and acknowledgement of one’s own motivations and feelings. (http://psychcentral.com/lib/15-common-defense-mechanisms/)

Have you ever had a friend who accuses everyone of being extremely hostile to them, but then is extremely hostile when they are making this claim?  This is a form of projection, as it helps to make their behavior more rational in their own head, and levels the playing field as it makes everyone sound as crazy as they are acting.  Now that person feels it is okay to be hostile to the others, because in their mind they are just responding to what the other people are doing. Of course there are a couple of flaws here, such as the people weren't being hostile and two wrongs don't make a right.  However, it is difficult to point these ideas out as the person has already made the situation rational in their head, and therefore it is usually the correct way to handle the situation.

Projection in MLM is BAD!!! MLMers project ill will all the time, and then they rationalize it with a higher sense of morality with their relationship to god and the business. MLMers condemn others who are not in the business by suggesting their life is lacking in different areas. These areas may include, not spending enough time with their kids, working for a boss, working a job, not making enough money. Let's take a moment to unravel some of these projections, as the MLMer uses this technique to gain a mentally superior ground in their pitch for the business.

MLMers and their projections:

1. Non-MLMers don't spend enough time with their kids.  This blanket statement as a whole can't have any weight, because there are plenty of people who have successful careers and are able to take vacations with their kids, have a parent stay home with the kids, work from home and be with the kids, or any combination of the above. To make a statement such as, non-MLMers don't spend enough of time with their kids is ridiculous, because the MLMers really don't know that information. Do MLMers spend more time with their kids? According to most former MLMers the answer is no, and in the book Merchants of Deception, you get to see first hand as an Emerald from Amway is dragged into the ground working countless hours trying to make his business profitable. Yet, that is just one example. Many former MLMers talk about watching as their friends make Facebook posts or other claims in person, yet in actuality are not available because of the amount of time spent at meetings and parties or showing their plans.

2. Non-MLMers are working for a boss. Maybe some, but certainly not all of them. Also, what is wrong with working for a boss? Many people don't want to be a boss and take on that extra responsibility. It is nice to not be held accountable for your team's performance, and some people strive by focusing on themselves rather than making sure a team below them is doing their work. Are MLMers actually their own boss? In short, no, nah, no way, absolutely not. They have no control over how the products are distributed, how they are marketed, how they are tested, or anything that involves the business other than getting new recruits. They are glorified salespersons being pumped full of hopes and promises. The biggest reason for why they aren't their own bosses is, they can be fired from the MLM at any time if they break the rules.

3. Non-MLMers are working a J-O-B. When was this such a crime? For that matter, when did we strive to not participate in society by producing fruitful labor? This is one of the weirdest projections, and of course being in an MLM is a J-O-B. Not punching a time card does not mean you aren't working a job. If you are trading your hours for income, then you are performing a job.

4. Non-MLMers don't make enough money. Well, they can't do worse than being in an MLM, because MLMers, according to the income disclosures of their companies, average far below poverty wages for over 90% of the members of the company, and after expenses are primarily in the red. It is only a select few at the top who are taking home any wages at all. Being a fry cook at McDonald's or a greeter at Walmart will have a better bottom line than more than 90% of the people involved in MLM.

As you can see, many of these common projections are riddled with fallacies. Yet, they keep getting repeated because they have rationalized the projections after they are continuously repeated. It is time to break this projection cycle, and end the game of, "Nuh uh! I said it first!"

15 Common Defense Mechanisms/Compartmentalization

Compartmentalization is interesting because it is almost the same as dissociation, but isn't quite as intense because you still have most of your rational faculties.  Compartmentalization can be used to justify breaking a set of values in a niche case, but doesn't completely alter you from the reality.  The main difference between dissociation and compartmentalization is intensity. Dissociation is completely severing your ties with reality as you form a new persona to suit your needs, whereas compartmentalization allows you to break your values for a specific scenario.

Compartmentalization: Compartmentalization is a lesser form of dissociation, wherein parts of oneself are separated from awareness of other parts and behaving as if one had separate sets of values. An example might be an honest person who cheats on their income tax return and keeps their two value systems distinct and un-integrated while remaining unconscious of the cognitive dissonance. (http://psychcentral.com/lib/15-common-defense-mechanisms/)

Have you ever had a friend that seems to have a great sense of direction but then do something completely unprecedented? Maybe, you have done this yourself? It can have many different levels of significance based on your values and societies values. This can be as simple as not lying, except for when you are asked about how you are doing at your job, or it can be as severe as not being racist face to face with a person but then telling people about how you wish they would just stay in their own country. There are many different ways we compartmentalize our issues to help deal with inner turmoil, but primarily we come up with a relatively irrational reasons and then justify it in our own heads. That way we can keep both value systems intact and away from one another which alleviates the chaos of being inconsistent.

Compartmentalization in MLM is BAD!!! MLMers are constantly dealing with dissociating their regular life from their MLM life and it starts off with splitting their value systems ever so slightly yet consistently. This slowly devolves into a much worse form and creates full blown dissociation. The upline will teach MLM how to sacrifice their values in the pursuit of their business by missing out on dinner with the wife once a week, or choosing to skip a child's theater production to show a business plan/host a party. Once that becomes easier for someone to compartmentalize the upline will make the needs of the MLM even stronger and encourage the MLMer to make more sacrifices and compartmentalize more values until they are completely transformed. This is synonymous with a story I heard of boiling a frog. You can read about that story at the blog, Amway the Dream or the Scheme, by Joe Cool.  

Compartmentalization is healthy, but it can also be as dangerous as a gateway drug. The next time you feel like your values are being compromised, ask yourself if this is a one time deal or if it is even necessary to do this, because once you do it once it only gets easier to do it again and again.