MLM and an Angry Long YouTube Comment

***DISCLAIMER***

THIS POST IS LONG!

Today's blog post is about a particularly long and ridiculous comment left on a YouTube video. The comment is a wonderful example of the successful propaganda brainwashing MLMs use on their adherents. The comment was left on this YouTube video below which has had a litany of comments from pro-MLMers.



The comment was left by a user with the handle "In Case You Were Wondering" which I will condense to (ICYWW). You may already be able to tell that this person is a bit full of themselves. Without further ado, here is the comment and my responses.

ICYWW said, "Here's a few things.
1. Are you getting paid to make this video? 2.What are your credentials? Why should people listen to you? 3. WHERE ARE THE FACTS AND ACTUAL PROOF???" 1. Getting paid is irrelevant. He is representing his own independent research and is not affiliated with a competitor. 2. You don't need credentials to do research and find out about MLM. There is plenty of information out there which can make you an expert. 3. The facts and proof is presented on his whiteboard and through his presentation. If you are looking for court cases or some sort of reference, then that is up to you to find on the internet. It is all there and easy to find through cursory searches on Google. ICYWW said, "Just because you speak eloquently and have a white board and you draw visuals does not make you QUALIFIED to speak about this. Half of your ratings are THUMBS DOWN. There's a fact for you. THAT is NOT GOOD. " I'm curious as to what would be considered "QUALIFIED" to speak about MLM. There isn't exactly a school or formal education you can receive. This is a bizarre statement. I would agree that the amount of "THUMBS DOWN" would be concerning if it wasn't for the fact that the amount of people that responded negatively were more than likely disgruntled "Distributors". Unfortunately there is no way to prove that, but there isn't really a reason for anyone other than people being financially affected to give it a bad review as his video is relatively objective. ICYWW said, "BRAINWASHING??? Did you ever come across people who specialized in hypnosis? have they ever locked the doors so people couldn't get out? Don't be an idiot. Everyone knows that this is not for everyone. TWO WORDS. BUSINESS and OWNER." Brainwashing is: make (someone) adopt radically different beliefs by using systematic and often forcible pressure.
Brainwashing doesn't have a direct correlation with hypnosis. I'm not sure why you made that weird leap.

Yes, they do lock the doors at certain meetings, and they also insist upon asking for bathroom breaks, not allowing outside food and drink, and to remain until the end. This is common procedure.

It isn't just "not for everyone", bur rather it isn't for mathematically anyone according to their income disclosure statements.

You are not a "Business Owner" if you join an MLM. You are a poorly paid contractor with a very limited range of independence. You are really a cult adherent that is paying a bunch of money for the opportunity to belong to the group and bring in more adherents.

ICYWW said, "You have to treat like a BUSINESS and you're the OWNER." I don't even know what that means when it relates to MLM. MLMs need to do a better job of qualifying new "Distributors" and taking responsibility for the outrageous failure rates. It isn't all about blaming the victims if 95-99+% of all "Distributors" across all MLMs fail or make less than minimum wage. That is the responsibility of the MLM. ICYWW said, "It's NETWORK marketing, not NET WELFARE marketing. " Sounds catchy, but this sentence is worth as much as bovine excrement (BS). Also, "Network Marketing" (Synonym for MLM) will more than likely wind you up on Welfare to fund your habit. ICYWW said, "I'm here to go from the beginning of your video to the end. Don't take it personal [sic], but you were never properly educated on legitimate MLM. I've done more research in a week than most people in my entire company did in 3 years. The difference is, I wish I could just jump in without being so analytical. But it's because of people like YOU who spoil it. " "Legitimate MLM" has never been proven to date. That is a challenge that I will issue to all MLMers. If they can prove that the majority of the money is made by selling products to customers instead of "end users", then I will take back this statement. I would say you need to work on your research skills. So far I haven't seen any analysis. All you have done is regurgitate memes created by MLM apologists. ICYWW said, "Without a doubt, you are navigating off of what everyone says. people [sic] who don't know anything more than what their family or friends say. THIS is never a good way to navigate in life. in [sic] school, you learn from people who know more than you, not people who always ask when they are going to ever use the knowledge they learned for the future. " I would beg to differ and say that you are the one "Navigating off of what everyone says". The rest of this statement is more weird fluff that means nothing or is irrelevant. Stick with more specific examples pertaining to MLM and not weird tangents. ICYWW said, "1. you say that you cannot believe that pyramid structures even exist.

1. ANSWER: How do you get paid? by someone in top of a corporate business structure, the CEO. PLUS, If they favor other people over you, you won't get the chance to move up. as a sales Two, you are your own boss, just like Uber. except with uber, unless you create your own LLC, you cannot hire other drivers." I'm not sure where you are trying to go with this. Pyramid structures in corporations, LLC's, businesses, and any other legal structure are legitimate. However, MLM pyramid structure is not because the method of earning income is through the distribution of dollars from new recruits being paid upwards through pay-to-play initial packages and monthly subscriptions. There are little to no actual sales outside of the organization generating money. If you are trying to suggest that everything is shaped like a pyramid therefore they are all illegal, then that is a common fallacy that has been thoroughly debunked. Here is a basic kindergarten level example. If milk is a liquid, and soda is a liquid, can we say that milk and soda are the same? This is the same type of logic you are trying to apply to MLM and legitimate businesses and it is horribly flawed. ICYWW said, "2. They put bells and whistles around it 2. Answer: I hope you never ever come up with a business idea and have people trash it because they think you're a salesman. God forbid THAT ever happens. What you come up with could actually be a great idea. See the problem?" This is a crazy tangent that has nothing to do with the video or MLM. This is just words for the sake of words. ICYWW said, "PEOPLE SPEND MORE ON THEIR FANCY PHONES AND CAR LOANS THAN ACTUALLY GETTING A USEFUL PRODUCT. " This is another unnecessary tangent. More words for the sake of words. ICYWW said, "My car salesman gypt me. is HE a part of a scheme???" Huh? I think your brain is failing you. Where are you going with these statements and what does this have to do with MLM? ICYWW said, "3. No need to be a part of a pyramid scheme to use a shopping portal. 3. ANSWER: Have you EVER shopped online??? who are you benefiting? yes. the CEO of the company. " Again, this has NOTHING to do with the video or MLM. This only further proves your inability to focus on important information and your inability to conduct research well. ICYWW said, "4. I can't believe I have to waste time out of my day to tear this whole video apart. I'm sorry, but you're ignorant. Any CEO first had to hire a team UNDER them to benefit, and not a very high spectrum of people can ever benefit in a corporate business structure. Pyramids are in EVERY business. only in MLM can you have a more wider [sic] spectrum of people be able to benefit. Also, it's NOT the person who came in sooner that benefits. It's if he is first SUCCESSFUL in getting his team together and selling a high volume of their product. I've seen people only be in for a few weeks already make more than their sponsor. " Well you don't have to waste your time and you didn't tear this video apart. The only person that is ignorant is you, and you have done nothing to support MLM. Please refer to the previous paragraph I made about your claim, "Pyramids are in EVERY business" and how that is flawed logic. That is completely incorrect. In MLM over 95-99+% of people fail. There is no other business model on the planet with those kinds of failure rates. It is absolutely the person who came in sooner that benefits. I don't believe that you have seen anyone actually be successful in MLM other than your role models preaching on stage. I'm guessing you have never seen an actual tax record indicating they made a large sum of money through the MLM. ICYWW said, "THE PROBLEM: Not a lot of people realise that once they join, they are sole proprietors. They own their own business. They are in charge of their success. THIS IS NOT EASY!" Again, you are not a "sole proprietor" or an "owner" or a "CEO". You are a lousy contractor that makes a dismal return on sales (if you can even sell anything). Most MLMs preach it is EXTREMELY easy when pitching this business. As long as you can follow your upline's instruction and duplicate, then you can win! ICYWW said, "Let me give you the breakdown, Genious. 2% of people in this country own the most wealth. Marc Zuckerburg had us pass around Facebook, but you didn't see us getting paid. 10% of America actually own businesses. The 90% never wanna put the work in or are happy with their lives the way they are. 22% of people in MLM companies are the ones making money, and out of that 22%, not everyone even earns a livable wage. Why? Because people walk into it like you do. They hear it's EASY MONEY. Well let me tell ya, IT AIN'T EASY. So it really isn't too good to be true. It really isn't a scheme. It takes WORK. But you were probably misinformed. I mean, even some Uber drivers can taint the rest of the company. " First part of this paragraph is another tangent. Where did you get this random 22% of people in MLM make money statistic? Normally I have seen it is much lower. Even with that statistic EVERY other business opportunity is better, and the fact that you said an even smaller percentage make a "livable wage" proves how terrible this opportunity actually is. The last part of the paragraph is also an irrelevant tangent. We aren't talking about UBER, and the opportunity that is presented is always acted out as an easy way to make income. ***If you made it this far, Congratulations! It is starting to wind down!*** ICYWW said, "I stopped numbering my points because it's so pointless at this point. Just like Uber, by the time EVERYONE heard about it, no one could make money, but you don't see ANYONE complaining! Actually, that's a lie. Just look on any Uber Facebook page. My point is, WITH EVERY BUSINESS THAT HAS EVER EXISTED, BY THE TIME IT BECAME A HOUSEHOLD NAME, YOU HAVE TO BEGIN FROM THE BOTTOM!!! Entry level employee. like for a grocery store, by the time it becomes mainstream, you have to start from the beginning. The bottom. There are ALWAYS going to be people at the bottom of a pyramid. 10 cashiers, maybe 5 managers, 2 directors, and 1 CEO. End of story! " A lot more pointless words, and I'm really not sure why Uber is such an important comparison. It has NOTHING to do with ANYTHING related to your points or to MLM as a whole. Your point about businesses becoming "Household names" is more bizarre and unnecessary words. Ugh, back to the erroneous pyramid shape fallacy for a 3rd time. We can see you have an issue with repetition and filibustering. ICYWW said, "What makes MLM so great is you depend on others success. They HAVE to be successful in order for you to be. Do you see it as wrong if someone recognizes a good business idea and runs with it, and takes other people with them to the top? But what happens after a while? that's right, other people like yourself come in and trash it by saying it's not fair. You've obviously never been a part of or ever owned a business!" No! Wrong! That is what makes MLM criminal! You rely on your downline's dollars to give you a paycheck and that is not "great". I would venture to say you have never been involved in a legitimate business. You have gotten everything wrong in this last paragraph, and you have proven why MLM is bad! ICYWW said, "This is hilarious. they're gonna tell me how good it is. Of course! They found success in it. While others spend thousands of dollars in student loans, paying the education system scheme and working a 9 to 5 for half their lives to pay it back, all we have to do is be good at selling our product! To people who WANT it of course. I don't have to have anyone on my team to be successful in MLM. We never benefit off reps. EVER. The only way we do is if they are good at getting members. two things. MEMBERS and REPS. The two are DIFFERENT. Unless it is an ILLEGAL company who only hire reps. THEN and ONLY THEN can I agree with you." Ugh, the other typical line, "If you aren't in MLM, then you must be a broke 9-5 job working loser!" MLM does not actually sell a product and they use the verbiage "end user" to skate the boundaries of the law. Very VERY few people want MLM products because they are overpriced generic versions of the same products available in stores. It is very easy to do price comparisons, and you can look at my other blog post to see I have done some math for you (http://themlmsyndrome.blogspot.com/2016/12/mlm-and-product-value.html). You always benefit off of reps. That is a complete and utter lie. All MLMs are focused on recruiting as the main source of generating income because they are founded on the principle of "Hiring" customers and giving them the title of "Distributor", but they are only taught to go find more "Distributors" that are actually customers. Then they take part of the dollars spent by each "Distributor" (customer) and distribute it upward. ICYWW said, "Companies who either have no product or they have an overpriced product, are companies who only make money from hiring more reps. THAT is an ILLEGAL company. " BOOM! Nailed it! That is EVERY MLM that has EVER existed. This is the "Aha!" moment. ICYWW said, "Being in an MLM myself, I accept the fact that

1. These people know more than me and have been in longer than me. They obviously make more than me. 2. I only benefit if my team sales volume is good. 3. The people I let in to be reps can make MORE than me just by being BETTER than me. It'll realistically take longer for me if I'm not good to begin with. But I get the opportunity to let in people who 1. might be better than me 2. NEVER would've realized their potential if I NEVER showed them!" If the training is good, then it shouldn't matter if someone has been in longer. If you are hired for the same position as someone else, then you should be making the same wage. This part "2.", again, is a clever way to say it is a pyramid scheme. While it is technically possible, it is improbably that someone below will make more money since the person above gets a percentage of all their sales. That is the essence of the pyramid. The last part is just programmed "Rah Rah" BS. You don't want people below you to be better because every time they get someone under them that means the market share shrinks. Every time you bring someone in, you are introducing a new competitor. ICYWW said, "This is too funny. Let me use TV marketing for example. They are CONVINCING MILLIONS to buy their product, and the product doesn't even have to be quality to be on TV! I personally think that is worse. If you ever come across MLM with a crappy product, then I wouldn't even join it. Too much to worry about, especially if it folds. Weight loss products, beauty care, and Body building products eventually all go to the wayside. However, if you work for a MLM that ACTUALLY benefits people long term and ACTUALLY benefits a higher spectrum of workers, it's golden."

Your example is flawed again because they are selling an actual product and not an opportunity. The quality of the product doesn't technically matter if they are selling it to a customer, but they will quickly go out of business if they don't have something desirable at a good price point. All MLMs have a "Crappy" product, because they are all products that have already been created by other companies at cheaper prices. Your last statement has never happened and it never will. ICYWW said, "MY company sells memberships. You do not deserve to know so it's by request only. Because if everyone knew, no one would be interested. Like let me go tell my GF everything I'll do for her up front. She would leave me! Because there's no surprise after that. No wonder. "

This makes no sense, has no relevance to MLM, and is completely asinine. Thanks for the waste of words. ICYWW said, "LET'S GET THIS STRAIGHT. You aren't talking about EVERY NETWORK marketing company out there. You are speaking for the ones that are NOT legitimate. " At this point, again, EVERY MLM has failed to prove legitimacy (Pampered Chef is the closest). If you don't want to share which MLM you are a part of, probably for fear of it being proven to be fraudulent, then that is fine, but it only helps my case. The onus is on you to prove that there is a reputable, legitimate MLM. ICYWW said, "NO ONE in my company gets paid to speak! They get paid from the work they put in. Or how much work did YOU put in to this video??? Are YOU getting paid??? Then you say you aren't sure how that works out??? There goes your credibility. I cannot believe people listen to you." ICYWW, you have done nothing to prove your point, you have gone on awful and bizarre tangents, you have wasted far too many words, and you are a premium example of brainwashing. You have spewed out a bunch of propaganda you heard at a seminar, and you have helped to show what happens when people join these companies. Your fervor in this response mixed with the time you put into it shows there is something strange happening. You have gone from being an avid member of the MLM to a fully indoctrinated psychopath.

MLM and PTSD (Post traumatic Stress Disorder)

Today's blog post is going to be very fun for me, and possibly full of tangents, because I spent a great deal of time investigating PTSD (Post traumatic Stress Disorder) in college. In fact, my final paper before graduating was on PTSD in children because it doesn't get nearly enough coverage in the main stream media, and it is a very significant problem. In fact, when most people hear about PTSD they think about military veterans, because we had many commercials for years surrounding the military and this condition. However, PTSD dates back to the beginning of human history, and continues to effect many people from many different backgrounds.

Today's blog post is going to be very fun for me, and possibly full of tangents, because I spent a great deal of time investigating PTSD (Post traumatic Stress Disorder) in college. In fact, my final paper before graduating was on PTSD in children because it doesn't get nearly enough coverage in the main stream media, and it is a very significant problem. In fact, when most people hear about PTSD they think about military veterans, because we had many commercials for years surrounding the military and this condition. However, PTSD dates back to the beginning of human history, and continues to affect many people from many different backgrounds.

Post traumatic Stress Disorder: Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a debilitating mental disorder that sometimes follows when a person has directly experienced or witnessed an extremely traumatic, tragic, or terrifying event. People with PTSD usually have persistent frightening thoughts and memories of their ordeal and feel emotionally numb, especially with people they were once close to. (http://psychcentral.com/disorders/ptsd/)

PTSD is an extremely virulent reaction to a traumatic experience. The traumatic experiences range in severity depending upon how the person is affected. This makes PTSD extremely difficult to understand and treat, because two people can look at the same situation and have completely different reactions. In fact, identical twins can have different levels of PTSD after witnessing the same traumatic experience. This is why every case of PTSD must be treated in isolation, because none are exactly the same.

Have you ever had friends that seems to struggle with getting past a particular event in their past? That person could be a veteran who watched their friends die while in action, or perhaps a person that was sexually assaulted as a child. PTSD is something that can out of nowhere and completely turn someone's life upside down. Even with therapy and medications, PTSD is still rampant and many people cannot acclimate to life within society. PTSD has many different shapes and forms, but they are all important to identify and talk about.  

Do MLMers get PTSD after they leave??? Undeniably yes...and I am a part of this terrible statistic even though my version of PTSD is not as severe as others. I still get very angry when I see MLMs pop up on my Facebook, I have distanced myself from people I previously considered friends, and most importantly...I started this blog because I still have recurring issues with my MLM experience. I have written my account of the FED (Freedom Enterprise Days) I attended in October of 2015 on many different blogs, and I have written many comments debating against MLM. However, I still have not had closure, and may never have closure until the entire MLM operation is shut down, or if I expire...whichever comes first.

After reading the comments left from my story on other blogs, the stories from other MLM survivors, and the continued posts from MLM bloggers, I have come to the conclusion that PTSD in ex-MLMers is a very serious condition. We have people writing many years after their experience about the damage they did to their friends and family, the personal losses such as money, houses, cars, and the emotional burden on themselves after being taken advantage of as well as taking advantage of the people closest to them.

If you still feel like you are struggling with your MLM experience, have a story you would like me to share on the blog, or simply want to chat about something involving your MLM experience. Please feel free to e-mail me at Thedude2488@gmail.com, and yes that is a Big Lebowski reference. 

MLM Herd/Group/Mob Mentality

There are many different terms used to describe people following the pack, and in this particular blog post I will refer to this as Herd Mentality. People tend to follow the herd, because we are programmed to be non confrontational (for the most part). According to psych central, in larger groups as little as 5% of the group can sway the other 95% to follow their lead (http://psychcentral.com/news/2008/02/15/herd-mentality-explained/1922.html). This is important, because it doesn't take many people to bring change, but it is extremely important to have numbers or people may not listen to what you have to say. The herd mentality is extremely powerful, as it can make people compromise their values, lose the ability to critically think, or worst of all, become violent.

Herd Mentality as defined by Wikipedia: Herd mentality, or mob mentality, describes how people are influenced by their peers to adopt certain behaviors. Examples of the herd mentality include stock market trends, superstition and home décor. Social psychologists study the related topics of group intelligence, crowd wisdom, and decentralized decision making. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herd_mentality)

Have you ever been hanging out with a group of friends and picked on someone because everyone else was doing it? You know it is wrong to bully others, and normally you would never bully if you were by yourself, but now that you are with these other people, do you find yourself joining in? This is a completely normal response, because you don't want the herd to turn their negative attention toward you. Whether your fear of the group is rational or not, human beings are programmed to survive by avoiding confrontation and pain. Our subconscious takes over, and we begin to exhibit unusual behaviors based on our survival traits. 

Does MLM use herd mentality to their advantage??? Unquestionably yes! MLMs thrive on forming people to fit a particular image or stereotype causing extreme discomfort for people trying to rebel. This is why they teach people to look the same by dressing in their suits, act the same by never talking about or bringing up negativity, and to listen to the designated upline. It is easier to convince someone or prove legitimacy if there are more people involved and they all look and act the same way. Once a group is formed, it becomes extremely difficult for a prospect or a lower member of the MLM to challenge the instructions or information they are given, because they do not want to make the herd mad. MLM's thrive on the downline's basic programming to survive and yearning to be a member of the group. This gives the MLM and uplines much more authority and power.

This also is a reason for why people don't report abuse from MLM. MLM is big and daunting, and the group is very cohesive. If MLM chooses to bring you into their group, it is exhilarating because there are many people love bombing, recognizing, and appreciating your existence. However, that can also be reversed, and you can be the subject to extreme ridicule or worse because of the cohesiveness of the group. It is much easier, and healthier for the downline or prospect to simply walk away and never return. 

MLM Operant Conditioning

Operant Conditioning: The use of consequences (reinforcement or punishment) to modify behavior. This idea was first proposed by the psychologist, B.F. Skinner. He felt that most things that made us behave in certain ways were external and that we should try and look for these patterns in daily life to see what made us the way we are. (http://psychcentral.com/encyclopedia/operant-conditioning/)

Operant conditioning is where we get the terms reward and punishment in behavior training. Every action we take has a positive or negative reaction, and this in turn forms our day to day decision making. We learn to make certain choices based on the result we expect to receive. An example of this is the way we are punished for committing a crime. We learn that certain actions are not acceptable in society based on the repercussions given for those actions. People learn right from wrong because they do not want to punished with jail time, fines, and labels (such as felon or sex offender). 

Operant conditioning can be very subtle such as trying to calm a child down by giving them what they want. When a child acts out in a public space, it is often easier to give them what they want, rather than to punish them. This is known as false positive reinforcement. Instead of teaching them that is incorrect to act out by taking something away, a person may give them exactly what they want because it is easier than dealing with the problem behavior. That person may not realize that this will trigger more bad behaviors down the line, because they are conditioning the child to believe this behavior is acceptable. An example of this may be a child throwing a temper tantrum at a restaurant because they want a dessert. Instead of teaching the child it is a privilege to go out to eat by not taking them out for a while, the parent may cave in and give the child a piece of candy. This is a false positive reinforcement and teaches the child it is okay to throw a temper tantrum to receive what they want.

How does operant conditioning work in MLM? It is actually a complex system that involves both rewards and punishments. MLMers have very harsh conditioning to get their downline to perform in their ideal practices. They will use love bombing and positive reinforcement constantly when the MLMer is attending functions, showing the plan, or purchasing products for their "business". This helps the MLMer to strengthen their opinions and resolve, because they are being rewarded for this behavior. Likewise, when they are caught doing something that is not approved by upline, then they will be scolded or worse, which leads them to more strongly follow the instructions of upline for fear of ridicule. This snowballs into upline expecting more and resulting in downline making harsher and more drastic life changes.

MLM Classical Conditioning

Classical conditioning is a fundamental way to teach people meaning. It is used to trigger a subconscious reaction to a stimulation that does not have any natural meaning. What I mean by this is, classical conditioning is designed to help people make connections between what they are experiencing and what they are taught.

Classical Conditioning: A form of learned association whereby a subject is trained to associate a neutral stimulus with a second stimulus of some significance, either positive or negative. (http://psychcentral.com/encyclopedia/classical-conditioning/)

In other words, one action that does not have emotional significance can trigger a reaction that does have an emotional significance. 

A great example of this is, the old dinner bell to signal dinner is ready. Old cartoons had a person hit a triangle (musical instrument), and in turn that would let everyone know to stop what they were doing and come inside to eat. The triangle itself does not have a positive or negative connotation, but the people have been trained to hear it and understand they are going to be fed. This in turn can lead to a subconscious reaction of your mouth watering whenever you hear a triangle played. 

Do MLMers use classical conditioning??? Absolutely! One of my favorite examples of classical conditioning in MLM involves the way people dress. Everyone has watched enough television shows or seen enough people in business suits, to connect that attire with a certain status (usually a significant status). People who wear suits tend to demonstrate success, power, wealth, and importance. MLMers utilize this to their advantage to help build self-confidence in otherwise fragile people. This also helps MLMers to build credibility when approaching another individual, preferably someone who is also wearing a suit. Many subconscious questions about that person can already be answered simply because of the associations we have with people wearing suits. 

One other important way that MLMers utilize Classical conditioning is through the videos and presentations. They rent out conference rooms and stadiums to show significance and success. They show videos of mansions, sports cars, and trips to also show wealth, success, and power. These are carefully designed to create CONfidence in the new MLMers. 

If you have other ways that MLMers use classical conditioning in their "business" please share them in the comments below!

15 Common Defense Mechanisms/Assertiveness

Assertiveness is the term used to describe people who are both good listeners and good communicators. Usually people fall closer to one end of the spectrum or the other, and it is important to realize the positives and negatives associated with these traits. A good listener is someone who can hear and understand people with empathy, while a good communicator is someone who can give direction and confidence to the people around them. These are both very important traits, and must be carefully balanced to achieve the assertive defense mechanism. As stated in previous sections, there are pro's and con's to most defense mechanisms, and they all strive to be as helpful as assertiveness.

Assertiveness: Assertiveness is the emphasis of a person’s needs or thoughts in a manner that is respectful, direct and firm. Communication styles exist on a continuum, ranging from passive to aggressive, with assertiveness falling neatly inbetween. People who are passive and communicate in a passive manner tend to be good listeners, but rarely speak up for themselves or their own needs in a relationship. People who are aggressive and communicate in an aggressive manner tend to be good leaders, but often at the expense of being able to listen empathetically to others and their ideas and needs. People who are assertive strike a balance where they speak up for themselves, express their opinions or needs in a respectful yet firm manner, and listen when they are being spoken to. Becoming more assertive is one of the most desired communication skills and helpful defense mechanisms most people want to learn, and would benefit in doing so. (http://psychcentral.com/lib/15-common-defense-mechanisms/2/)

Have you ever had someone that you could come to about anything, and they would be able to give good advice on the subject? Usually this is a parent, mentor, or teacher, but these traits are found in many other people as well. These people are there to first listen to the concern, internalize and understand the concern, then give a response based on experience. An example of this could be confiding in your parent about a problem with bullies at school. The parent will first listen to the issue, then console the child, and finally give helpful advice to help make an adjustment for the future when dealing with similar situations. If the parent is only a good listener, then they can be there for the child's needs, but they cannot help to prevent the situation from occurring again in the future. A parent that is only a good communicator will ignore the child's emotional needs, and only give a list of ways to deal with the problem. Striking a balance between the two is necessary to completely handle the situation.

Do MLMers use assertiveness??? Probably some, but for the most part, an emphatic no. MLMers tend to be on both ends of the spectrum, rather than having a healthy balance in the middle, and they do this on purpose to create programming. It is important for the downline to be good listeners and never question or speak up about their concerns. While it is important for the upline to be emotionally separated from the downline to show superiority as they continue to give orders and repeat programmed messages from their uplines. Assertiveness in MLM will often be confused with aggressiveness and upline uses aggression to keep their downline in form.

This concludes the segment on common defense mechanisms, and we will be moving towards classical vs. operant conditioning for the next couple of articles.

I have also had requests to publish guest articles and public stories. I am hoping to move forward on that in the near future as well, and help to break down and understand some of the common underlying themes. 

15 Common Defense Mechanisms/Compensation

Compensation is a very common adult defense mechanism. It is used to emphasize a particular strength in place of a weakness. Compensation is one of the most effective ways to make a person look larger than life, and can help to raise self-esteem when admitting you have a weakness. Compensation is extremely effective in building other people's confidence in your abilities. One of my favorite examples of compensation is, people driving lifted trucks to make up for their genetic traits. The person may be far shorter than the national average, but they are far larger than anyone else when they are on the road.

Compensation: Compensation is a process of psychologically counterbalancing perceived weaknesses by emphasizing strength in other arenas. By emphasizing and focusing on one’s strengths, a person is recognizing they cannot be strong at all things and in all areas in their lives. For instance, when a person says, “I may not know how to cook, but I can sure do the dishes!,” they’re trying to compensate for their lack of cooking skills by emphasizing their cleaning skills instead. When done appropriately and not in an attempt to over-compensate, compensation is defense mechanism that helps reinforce a person’s self-esteem and self-image. (http://psychcentral.com/lib/15-common-defense-mechanisms/2/)

Have you ever had a friend that always wants to do the same activities? They are compensating for the fact that they don't know how to do other activities, and don't want to show any weaknesses when attempting something new.  A great example of compensation is, choosing where to go for a first date. A person who is not a great conversationalist may choose to do an activity such as dancing or a movie. These activities give the person an opportunity to focus on other strengths and distract from the weakness of not being able to engage in a dialogue.

Do people compensate in MLM!??!! No doubt! People use MLM to compensate for everything else in their lives. There are various versions of compensation that are dependent on your position within the MLM. Here are some of the different people who compensate in MLM:

1. Top Tier Members (TTMs) - These are the people showing videos, flashing trophies, bragging about their wealth, and continuously focusing on tangible possessions to edify themselves.  These people will exaggerate the opportunity to have success, and even suggest it is possible for everyone to have their lifestyles. They are compensating for the overwhelmingly bad statistics involved in the business by showing what you can have if you achieve their level of success.

2. Middle of the road members (MRMs) - These are the people who are just starting to turn a profit,or have a larger downline than most, but aren't even close to the top tier members. These are the people who will constantly mention retiring soon, and talk about all of the wonderful trips and free products they have gotten from the company. These people are compensating for the grueling hours, loss of friends, and lack of income after committing large amounts of time, energy, and money to the MLM.

3. New members (NMs) - These are the people with little to no downline and are losing lots of money each month on seminars, trips, tools, and standing orders. These people will have the most upbeat energy, and consistently show an outward appearance of perfect bliss. They will say they are investing in themselves, and that they are already seeing returns in their learning and friendships. These people are constantly compensating for the agonizing bills, the long nights, and the instability in their lives.

Compensation is helpful to keep people motivated and positive. However, compensation can be used to deceive and manipulate as well.

15 Common Defense Mechanisms/Sublimation

Sublimation is designed to uncomfortable feelings and turn them into something that is more manageable. Sometimes it comes out in the form of laughter after an extremely difficult situation is encountered, or if the person has just received bad news. Sublimation is a more advanced way to deal with trauma and anxiety.

Sublimation: Sublimation is simply the channeling of unacceptable impulses, thoughts and emotions into more acceptable ones. For instance, when a person has sexual impulses they would like not to act upon, they may instead focus on rigorous exercise. Refocusing such unacceptable or harmful impulses into productive use helps a person channel energy that otherwise would be lost or used in a manner that might cause the person more anxiety.

Sublimation can also be done with humor or fantasy. Humor, when used as a defense mechanism, is the channeling of unacceptable impulses or thoughts into a light-hearted story or joke. Humor reduces the intensity of a situation, and places a cushion of laughter between the person and the impulses. Fantasy, when used as a defense mechanism, is the channeling of unacceptable or unattainable desires into imagination. For example, imagining one’s ultimate career goals can be helpful when one experiences temporary setbacks in academic achievement. Both can help a person look at a situation in a different way, or focus on aspects of the situation not previously explored. (http://psychcentral.com/lib/15-common-defense-mechanisms/2/)

Have you ever had a friend that is constantly diminishing the severity of a situation? What I mean by this is, someone who seems to make light of a situation that would otherwise be very significant. They can do this in the form of joking, trivializing, or distracting themselves. An example of this is dealing with the death of another being (human or pet). Instead of showing sadness, a person may pretend like it never happened. The person may also make a joke, and laugh at their misfortune. These are ways to lighten the intensity of the tragedy. 

Do MLMers use sublimation??? Most definitely. MLMers are constantly focusing on the dream and the future rather than consistently negative reports of their business's financial situation. They make light of the fact that they are losing money hand over fist, or they completely ignore it. MLMers have found multiple ways to use sublimation to strengthen their resolve.  MLMers joke about the 95+% failure rates, and pretend that they are exceptions to the rule. Also, MLMers use the perceived negatives in their lives to fuel their energy and passion for the business of MLM. Finally, MLMers trivialize their losses by suggesting it is part of investing and growing their business. These forms of sublimation are all used to cope with the fact that the business is bad, the products are ordinary, and their efforts are in vain. 

15 Common Defense Mechanisms/Undoing

Undoing is an over-the-top reaction to involuntarily offending someone else. Instead of adjusting the behavior so that it doesn't happen again, a person may try to reconcile the situation by giving gifts or continuously apologizing. The person who is using the undoing defense mechanism is struggling internally with the fault they committed and feel they must do extra to reconcile the issue at hand. An example of this may be closing the door in someone's face. Instead of apologizing and moving forward, a person may offer to buy them lunch, help them with their errands, or pay unnecessary compliments. This defense mechanism looks like a person taking responsibility for their action, but it is largely about the turmoil they are dealing with inside of themselves.

Undoing: Undoing is the attempt to take back an unconscious behavior or thought that is unacceptable or hurtful. For instance, after realizing you just insulted your significant other unintentionally, you might spend then next hour praising their beauty, charm and intellect. By “undoing” the previous action, the person is attempting to counteract the damage done by the original comment, hoping the two will balance one another out.

Have you ever had a friend that feels overly apologetic for every wrongdoing? They might be overly politically correct about everything they are saying, or make outrageous sacrifices to fix the most minor of issues. Another example of this might be making a joke at the expense of another person. The joke's punchline might involve making fun of blondes, or saying something about certain foods being consumed more regularly by particular ethnicities. In any case, it is not meant to be an insult, but rather making light of a commonly seen situation. Yet, a person may take it the wrong way and get offended. Instead of the person making the joke being apologetic, they may go out of their way to say they don't actually think this way and that they are extremely open-minded.

Do MLMers use undoing??? Absolutely! MLMers are constantly turning their negative thoughts into positives. Undoing can be based on actions or thoughts, therefore if an MLMer is thinking a nasty thought they may react to it by acting overly positive. An example of this is when an MLMer loses a downline. Inside, the MLMer will be angry because that is a part of their income being lost, but on the outside they may be overly nice to the other downline and tell them how much more valuable they are than the other MLMer who quit.

A personal example of this occurred when I was at an FED and I listened to Brad Duncan speak. He talked about the real statistics and the numbers were embarrassingly bad. He told everyone that 95% of people in attendance would quit, and that .1% of people there would ever make it to diamond (essentially 0). Without blinking an eye, he then said that this was the greatest business on Earth, everyone in that audience had an equal opportunity for success, and the business had the power to change lives. The third part was accurate, but probably not in the way he intended it to mean. This was an incredible use of undoing, and the people cheered for him as he continued on with his speech. 

15 Common Defense Mechanisms/Rationalization

Rationalization is the process of taking a traumatic event and then give meaning to it. Rationalization is an extremely powerful tool and is best used to bring sanity to a difficult situation. An example of this is not getting the job you wanted. You applied, had a great interview, are qualified, and yet they chose someone else instead. Your brain may justify this result by suggesting they needed to hire more minorities, or a different minority, which is why you didn't get the job. While this may seem logical to you, it is probably far from the truth and actually very irrational.

Rationalization: Rationalization is putting something into a different light or offering a different explanation for one’s perceptions or behaviors in the face of a changing reality. For instance, a woman who starts dating a man she really, really likes and thinks the world of is suddenly dumped by the man for no reason. She reframes the situation in her mind with, “I suspected he was a loser all along.” (http://psychcentral.com/lib/15-common-defense-mechanisms/2/)

Have you ever had a friend that seems to have a made-up justification for everything that happens to them, even when it clearly was out of their control? This person is displaying a high frequency of rationalization, because they can't deal with the fact that the issue was a random, traumatic, or unforeseen circumstance. Another example of this could be justifying why you were in a car accident. Let's say a person was trying to merge and they didn't see you in their blind spot. They clipped your front end and now your car has serious damage, or worse can't be used. This clearly is not your fault and there is nothing you could have done to altar the outcome. Yet, you may justify the randomness by thinking if I had just gone a little slower then this never would have happened. This is a form of rationalization to justify the randomness of that moment.

Does rationalization exist in MLM??? You betcha! MLMers are constantly being told the key to their success is following the fool-proof system being taught by their successful upline. However, they are also told that failure is a direct result of their actions. This in turn leads to a strong use of rationalization as the MLMer is losing money. The MLMer may think it was their fault because they didn't listen to enough hours of tape, or they didn't attend enough meetings, or they weren't prepared enough to host the meeting. These are rationalizations to make up for the overwhelming factor that over 90% of all MLMers in all MLMs fail regardless of their efforts, and that .1% of MLMers ever reach the highest ranks (far from fool-proof numbers). Upline manipulates MLMers into triggering this defense mechanism to avoid being blamed, but it also helps to edify the upline because they are never seen at fault. It is a perfect tactic to keep MLMers loyal and keep upline powerful.  

15 Common Defense Mechanisms/Intellectualization

Intellectualization is used to suppress emotions when someone is being confronted with a difficult situation. It is as much a mouthful by pronunciation as it is by definition, and it is extremely difficult to detect if the person deploying this tactic is commonly reserved by nature. We commonly see this defense mechanism used in popular political debates, news interviews, and highly controversial subjects (such as abortion, capital punishment, immigration), because people who exhibit emotions during these events are often immediately discredited.

Intellectualization: Intellectualization is the overemphasis on thinking when confronted with an unacceptable impulse, situation or behavior without employing any emotions whatsoever to help mediate and place the thoughts into an emotional, human context. Rather than deal with the painful associated emotions, a person might employ intellectualization to distance themselves from the impulse, event or behavior. For instance, a person who has just been given a terminal medical diagnosis, instead of expressing their sadness and grief, focuses instead on the details of all possible fruitless medical procedures. (http://psychcentral.com/lib/15-common-defense-mechanisms/)

Have you ever seen Harry Potter and watched as a character insults or frustrates Professor Snape (Alan Rickman R.I.P)? He does show a minimal level of emotions at time, but often he will counter with a cold calculated and overly accentuated response. He uses intellectualization, because he does not know how to channel his frustration in a more regularly recognized emotional outburst. Intellectualization is also commonly seen with the stereotypical math teachers, and it is an internal response to discomfort rather than an external response.  

Does intellectualization exist in MLMers??? Absolutely, especially when it is an upline talking to a downline at any part of the chain. Upline will always strive to show some sort of mental superiority over downline because of their edification. This means they cannot show any form of emotion, other than a false smile and pleasantness, because that would be discrediting themselves and/or bringing them down to a lower level of being. It is a philosophical ploy to ensure downline never questions their advice, and comes to them whenever they have a comment or concern.  They are constantly training themselves and their downline to refer to the same, canned, repetitive discussion points whenever a controversial point is brought to their attention, and as they get more practice with these responses, they become more and more cold to the subject matter. An example of this is, if someone asks if the MLM is a pyramid scheme. They will already have a reply designed to confuse or sound unquestionable and they will deliver the response with little to no emotion. This will intellectualize the concern and usually dissuade the other party from continuing to pressure on the subject. 

If you feel upline has all of the answers and is delivering them to you in rapid succession, then you should take some time to research exactly what they are saying, and why it seems to make sense. There are many resources to disprove the intellectualizations, and if you continue to pressure them on certain points, then the cracks will begin to show. You will start to see upline regress through the other defense mechanisms until they reach denial. Once they have gone back to denial, then the point is moot and should not be pursued further, because you cannot be rational with the irrational.

A Special Thank You!

I coming up on my second week of blogging, and am already featured as a guest blogger, linked to other blogger's pages, and in a few other forums thanks to some very passionate people!  So, it is time to give thanks!

I started this journey about a year ago, after I was propositioned to join an MLM by a co-worker (I may put that story on this blog, but I need to fix it up, and only if enough people are interested in reading it). After I went through the initiation process, I was offered a position in the group. I politely declined because this was not the way I wanted to generate an extra income, and it looked like it did a lot of damage to many people. I could have walked away and pretended like those couple of weeks never happened, but I really needed to know why these businesses were successful, and how I got so excited at the beginning.

I started my learning by going online and Googling about the particular company and came across two very successful blogs. The first blog was Married to an Ambot (marriedtoanambot.blogspot.com), and it is currently still being written by Anna Banana. She is a firecracker, and she has no problem telling people exactly how she feels. I learned a lot about the manipulation of MLM, the specific rhetoric used by MLMers, and most importantly, that I wasn't alone!

The second blog I went to was the top link on Anna's page, and it was called Amway The Dream or the Scheme (http://amwayscheme.blogspot.com/). This blog, written by Joe Cool, was a much more thought provoking way of presenting MLM material. I'd like to say it was my second stage in releasing from the Matrix (referene to the movie), because at first I was angry, but then I became hungry to learn more! Joe didn't just get me thinking, but rather engaged many people in his blog posts, some were supporters of MLM and some were against MLM. It was an amazing way to begin engaging in a dialogue with the people that supported a business I was against. However, the dialogues quickly turned sour as the MLMers would not continue to respond, or would divert the topic from its original premise to an abstraction. I needed to find more!

The third blog I found was Lazy Man and Money (www.lazymanandmoney.com). This is the blog where I learned how to make connections from the MLM company I was propositioned by, and all of the others that are in existence. I learned how to properly form my points with due diligence and proper research. I learned how to dissect an MLMers words to a precise degree, and understand why they had so many fallacies in their position. This is where I stepped out of my comfort zone, and began to truly grasp the magnitude of the MLM situation.

The fourth blog I went to was MLM the American Dream Made Nightmare by David Brear (http://mlmtheamericandreammadenightmare.blogspot.com/). David is probably the smartest guy I have ever read, and trying to write to him is a truly daunting task. To this day, I still get fearful I am using a word incorrectly, or writing like an idiot, because he made me look up more words in a year than I had my entire life. David was the first MLM writer to truly engage me personally, and he helped me launch my blog on different platforms. He is a truly special individual, and his personal story with MLM is both brilliant and horrifying. It is a must read experience.

The fifth and final MLM writer/blogger I want to mention is Ethan Vanderbuilt (EthanVanderbuilt.com). I only recently reached out to Ethan, but he has already let me write a post on his website, and has directed more traffic to my blog than I got the first week and a half! He is an exceptional writer, and a great person to reach out to personally.

These are some of the most influential people in writing about MLM, and they are some of the best members of society. They go out of their way to keep the public informed, and work very hard for very little or NOTHING AT ALL to help their fellow human beings. They were the influences I needed to push me towards writing about MLM. They are the members of society I wish to emulate through my writings, and they are the people who make this world such a great place to live in.

Thank you!

15 Common Defense Mechanisms/Displacement

Displacement is very similar to projection, except for one key difference. Instead of the person projecting an attack that would more accurately describe their behaviors, they displace the anger towards one person by targeting an unrelated individual. Displacement can come from a variety of different scenarios, and can be both good and bad. One of my favorite positive forms of displacement is paying it forward where someone in front of you will pay for your items without you knowing. This good deed is designed to start a chain effect where one person engages another person with a nice gesture which in turn leads the new person to displace good energy to another unrelated individual.

Displacement: Displacement is the redirecting of thoughts feelings and impulses directed at one person or object, but taken out upon another person or object. People often use displacement when they cannot express their feelings in a safe manner to the person they are directed at. The classic example is the man who gets angry at his boss, but can’t express his anger to his boss for fear of being fired. He instead comes home and kicks the dog or starts an argument with his wife. The man is redirecting his anger from his boss to his dog or wife. Naturally, this is a pretty ineffective defense mechanism, because while the anger finds a route for expression, it’s misapplication to other harmless people or objects will cause additional problems for most people. (http://psychcentral.com/lib/15-common-defense-mechanisms/2/)

Have you ever been out in public and had a random person provoke a fight with a stranger? Maybe you are at a bar and a local drunk is outside starting trouble, or a person in the check out line at a grocery store begins to fight with the clerk when their coupon doesn't work. In these scenarios, it is never about the person they are instigating an issue with, but rather an unrelated event that has been causing inner turmoil throughout the day. People can displace anger on different individuals as well as themselves. Instead of dealing with the problem directly at the source, they will repress the issue until it has to come out.

Displacement in MLM is dangerous!!! MLMers have a very difficult time dealing with the negative emotions they are repressing, because it is forbidden to show any form of negative emotion when they are in public or doing business related activities. This leads to potentially dangerous displacement as they release their anger upon unsuspecting targets. There are many stories of MLMers coming home and verbally or physically abusing their children and wives, or vehemently attacking a prospect or downline when they aren't following upline's commands properly, or even come onto a blog and write a particularly nasty note that has nothing to do with the article. In any case, there is one main response to displacement.

You can remove yourself from the situation. You might be able to walk away, but you might also need to get the police involved. Either way, this is the best way to handle an MLMer that is displacing their anger.

Do not engage them!!! If you try to be rational with an irrational person, it will be equivalent to banging your head against a brick wall, and if you try to respond to their anger with your own anger then you will only escalate the situation. It is important to let the MLMer calm down, and then approach them in a regular tone of voice with specific points about your concerns. If they begin to displace more anger, then you must remove yourself from the situation until they are able to listen. This process will repeat until the MLMer learns and preferably leaves the business, or you may have to consider making a permanent exit. Either way, you must look out for your own well being first and foremost.

15 Common Defense Mechanisms/Repression

Repression is one of the more commonly used defense mechanisms for adults, and particularly for men. Bottling up emotions can be extremely damaging in both the short and long terms. People can be resentful at first and eventually grow to be more and more distrustful of others. It is important not to repress our feelings of discomfort, and instead engage them in a healthy dialogue with someone else.

Repression: Repression is the unconscious blocking of unacceptable thoughts, feelings, and impulses. The key to repression is that people do it unconsciously, so they often have very little control over it. "Repressed Memories" are memories that have been unconsciously blocked from access or view. But because memory is very malleable and ever-changing, it is not playing a DVD back of your life. The DVD has been filtered and even altered by your life experiences, even by what you've read or viewed. (http://psychcentral.com/lib/15-common-defense-mechanisms/)

Have you ever had a friend that refuses to tell you about their problems, even if you know they just had a serious trauma? Many times, people are not able to address the problems because they feel society will judge them. Yet, other times people can't voice their problems because they simply don't know how, or worse, don't know they have any to voice. Repression activates constantly to protect us from being overly stressed, angry, frustrated, or even tired. Emotions can be draining, and it is impossible for our brains to trigger and understand every situation with regards to how it makes us feel.

Repression can be dangerous. Repression can lead to permanent psychological conditions when not addressing serious traumas effectively. People can develop different personalities to help cope with the issues, self medicate, or worse commit suicide. Childhood traumas are a main source of repression, because our brains haven't fully developed yet. Any time there is a childhood trauma, it is particularly difficult to understand the full spectrum of emotions that are attached to the situation, and it is even harder to verbalize how it made you transition into your later years of life.

Repression in MLM is BAD!!! There are two main issues to address with repression and MLM:

1. Current MLMers are encouraged not to voice concerns or to question their uplines if something seems wrong. Instead, it is taught to repress every emotion other than happiness, because everything else will stop them from their goals of endless wealth and success. It is important to stay positive and focused on the track provided, because that is the only way their system will work. The repression they teach is both unhealthy and a form of brainwashing. They are conditioning MLMers to reject previous teachings, disregard what others say, and not to think for themselves.

2. Former MLMers are taught to repress their feelings about the business. They are conditioned to take full responsibility for their failures, and taught that the system is fool proof. Also former MLMers will repress their feelings, because they don't want to deal with the embarrassment of losing money or being duped. It is hard for people to admit when they made a mistake, and former MLMers realize they have made BIG mistakes. Former MLMers will choose to move forward with their lives rather than dwell on the past and cut their losses, because they are still conditioned to not think of the negatives. Former MLMers will repress their feelings because they fear the company is too big to do anything, and their voice will fall on deaf ears.

Repression surrounds our every day lives, and MLM leaders take advantage of this defense mechanism to help prevent repercussions from their dubious tactics.

15 Common Defense Mechanisms/Reaction Formation

Reaction formation is another way of "killing someone with kindness". This defense mechanism is based on a sarcastic response to being upset by blatantly acting the opposite way. This is a tougher defense mechanism to notice, because some people are very good at hiding how they truly feel. Instead of explaining their feelings, they could continue to act as though everything is wonderful, even though it is the opposite.

Reaction Formation: Reaction formation is the converting of unwanted or dangerous thoughts, feelings or impulses into their opposites. For instance, a woman who is very angry with her boss and would like to quit her job may instead be overly kind and generous toward her boss and express a desire to keep working there forever. She is incapable of expressing the negative emotions of anger and unhappiness with her job, and instead becomes overly kind to publicly demonstrate her lack of anger and unhappiness. (http://psychcentral.com/lib/15-common-defense-mechanisms/)

Have you ever had a friend that only buys people gifts voluntarily when they are upset? It may be as simple as bringing in a cup of coffee or a piece of cake, but you know it is uncharacteristic of their day to day habits. These are routine versions of reaction formation to an underlying problem that a person is having troubles addressing verbally. This is an unauthentic representation of generosity, and usually results in a very awkward moment before confronting the situation. 

Reaction formation in MLM is Real!!! MLMers are constantly harnessing reaction formation to deal with their day to day issues with society. They are upset with their current statuses and utilize reaction formation to lift their spirits. In a group setting, it can trigger a euphoric feeling as the reaction formations feed off of each participant, until it changes from a sarcastic response to an unpleasant situation, into a deeper positive emotion. This can be described as a different form of mob mentality, where people utilize the group to help validate their fake emotions of goodness. 

MLMers will go out of their way to be nice to strangers in the pursuit of their own self-gain. They will transform themselves into a giant reaction formation to the evil world they feel surrounded by, and create an egregious display of caring and authenticity. They will create a matrix to live in and validate their reaction formations among one another until it completely envelops their being, and then MLMers will create harsher lines between themselves and the "others" living in the outside world. This is where the cult-like behavior begins, as they strive to be a genuine and moral group of people, but it is based on a lie and the deception to themselves is magnified by the corruption of the leaders who are lining their pockets with their disciples incomes. The leaders use loaded analogies and jargon to create harsher lines between themselves and reality, which ultimately isolates the members from friends, family, co-workers, and eventually anyone else that is not involved in MLM.

15 Common Defense Mechanisms/Projection

Projection is one of the most common defense mechanisms. It is an interesting defense mechanism, because it creates an irrational sense of winning as a person will blame their adversary for behaviors they are currently using. This technique is almost the same as the game "shotgun" when trying to get the front seat of the car. As long as a person claims the other person is displaying bad behaviors first, then they are winning the issue at hand.

Projection: Projection is the misattribution of a person’s undesired thoughts, feelings or impulses onto another person who does not have those thoughts, feelings or impulses. Projection is used especially when the thoughts are considered unacceptable for the person to express, or they feel completely ill at ease with having them. For example, a spouse may be angry at their significant other for not listening, when in fact it is the angry spouse who does not listen. Projection is often the result of a lack of insight and acknowledgement of one’s own motivations and feelings. (http://psychcentral.com/lib/15-common-defense-mechanisms/)

Have you ever had a friend who accuses everyone of being extremely hostile to them, but then is extremely hostile when they are making this claim?  This is a form of projection, as it helps to make their behavior more rational in their own head, and levels the playing field as it makes everyone sound as crazy as they are acting.  Now that person feels it is okay to be hostile to the others, because in their mind they are just responding to what the other people are doing. Of course there are a couple of flaws here, such as the people weren't being hostile and two wrongs don't make a right.  However, it is difficult to point these ideas out as the person has already made the situation rational in their head, and therefore it is usually the correct way to handle the situation.

Projection in MLM is BAD!!! MLMers project ill will all the time, and then they rationalize it with a higher sense of morality with their relationship to god and the business. MLMers condemn others who are not in the business by suggesting their life is lacking in different areas. These areas may include, not spending enough time with their kids, working for a boss, working a job, not making enough money. Let's take a moment to unravel some of these projections, as the MLMer uses this technique to gain a mentally superior ground in their pitch for the business.

MLMers and their projections:

1. Non-MLMers don't spend enough time with their kids.  This blanket statement as a whole can't have any weight, because there are plenty of people who have successful careers and are able to take vacations with their kids, have a parent stay home with the kids, work from home and be with the kids, or any combination of the above. To make a statement such as, non-MLMers don't spend enough of time with their kids is ridiculous, because the MLMers really don't know that information. Do MLMers spend more time with their kids? According to most former MLMers the answer is no, and in the book Merchants of Deception, you get to see first hand as an Emerald from Amway is dragged into the ground working countless hours trying to make his business profitable. Yet, that is just one example. Many former MLMers talk about watching as their friends make Facebook posts or other claims in person, yet in actuality are not available because of the amount of time spent at meetings and parties or showing their plans.

2. Non-MLMers are working for a boss. Maybe some, but certainly not all of them. Also, what is wrong with working for a boss? Many people don't want to be a boss and take on that extra responsibility. It is nice to not be held accountable for your team's performance, and some people strive by focusing on themselves rather than making sure a team below them is doing their work. Are MLMers actually their own boss? In short, no, nah, no way, absolutely not. They have no control over how the products are distributed, how they are marketed, how they are tested, or anything that involves the business other than getting new recruits. They are glorified salespersons being pumped full of hopes and promises. The biggest reason for why they aren't their own bosses is, they can be fired from the MLM at any time if they break the rules.

3. Non-MLMers are working a J-O-B. When was this such a crime? For that matter, when did we strive to not participate in society by producing fruitful labor? This is one of the weirdest projections, and of course being in an MLM is a J-O-B. Not punching a time card does not mean you aren't working a job. If you are trading your hours for income, then you are performing a job.

4. Non-MLMers don't make enough money. Well, they can't do worse than being in an MLM, because MLMers, according to the income disclosures of their companies, average far below poverty wages for over 90% of the members of the company, and after expenses are primarily in the red. It is only a select few at the top who are taking home any wages at all. Being a fry cook at McDonald's or a greeter at Walmart will have a better bottom line than more than 90% of the people involved in MLM.

As you can see, many of these common projections are riddled with fallacies. Yet, they keep getting repeated because they have rationalized the projections after they are continuously repeated. It is time to break this projection cycle, and end the game of, "Nuh uh! I said it first!"

15 Common Defense Mechanisms/Compartmentalization

Compartmentalization is interesting because it is almost the same as dissociation, but isn't quite as intense because you still have most of your rational faculties.  Compartmentalization can be used to justify breaking a set of values in a niche case, but doesn't completely alter you from the reality.  The main difference between dissociation and compartmentalization is intensity. Dissociation is completely severing your ties with reality as you form a new persona to suit your needs, whereas compartmentalization allows you to break your values for a specific scenario.

Compartmentalization: Compartmentalization is a lesser form of dissociation, wherein parts of oneself are separated from awareness of other parts and behaving as if one had separate sets of values. An example might be an honest person who cheats on their income tax return and keeps their two value systems distinct and un-integrated while remaining unconscious of the cognitive dissonance. (http://psychcentral.com/lib/15-common-defense-mechanisms/)

Have you ever had a friend that seems to have a great sense of direction but then do something completely unprecedented? Maybe, you have done this yourself? It can have many different levels of significance based on your values and societies values. This can be as simple as not lying, except for when you are asked about how you are doing at your job, or it can be as severe as not being racist face to face with a person but then telling people about how you wish they would just stay in their own country. There are many different ways we compartmentalize our issues to help deal with inner turmoil, but primarily we come up with a relatively irrational reasons and then justify it in our own heads. That way we can keep both value systems intact and away from one another which alleviates the chaos of being inconsistent.

Compartmentalization in MLM is BAD!!! MLMers are constantly dealing with dissociating their regular life from their MLM life and it starts off with splitting their value systems ever so slightly yet consistently. This slowly devolves into a much worse form and creates full blown dissociation. The upline will teach MLM how to sacrifice their values in the pursuit of their business by missing out on dinner with the wife once a week, or choosing to skip a child's theater production to show a business plan/host a party. Once that becomes easier for someone to compartmentalize the upline will make the needs of the MLM even stronger and encourage the MLMer to make more sacrifices and compartmentalize more values until they are completely transformed. This is synonymous with a story I heard of boiling a frog. You can read about that story at the blog, Amway the Dream or the Scheme, by Joe Cool.  

Compartmentalization is healthy, but it can also be as dangerous as a gateway drug. The next time you feel like your values are being compromised, ask yourself if this is a one time deal or if it is even necessary to do this, because once you do it once it only gets easier to do it again and again.

15 Common Defense Mechanisms/Dissociation

Our next defense mechanism on the list is dissociation according to psych central, and this one puts ignoring the problem to a whole new level. Dissociation is a fancy way of playing pretend, and acting like everything is wonderful on the outside while stuff on the inside looks more like a tropical storm. This is probably one of the best ways to describe a fully transformed MLMer as they have been indoctrinated into their scheme.  

Dissociation: Dissociation is when a person loses track of time and/or person, and instead finds another representation of their self in order to continue in the moment. A person who dissociates often loses track of time or themselves and their usual thought processes and memories. People who have a history of any kind of childhood abuse often suffer from some form of dissociation. In extreme cases, dissociation can lead to a person believing they have multiple selves (“multiple personality disorder”). People who use dissociation often have a disconnected view of themselves in their world. Time and their own self-image may not flow continuously, as it does for most people. In this manner, a person who dissociates can “disconnect” from the real world for a time, and live in a different world that is not cluttered with thoughts, feelings or memories that are unbearable. (http://psychcentral.com/lib/15-common-defense-mechanisms/)

Have you ever met someone that dressed in a nice suit, talked with a big smile, drove a nice car, had a great wife and kids, but you just felt like something was wrong (Uh oh MLMers...)? These people are forming a new identity, a perfect character to portray to the world, because the real self is full of disappointment and lack of achievement. These people talk fast, and look the part, but their bank account and their shrinks say otherwise.  Ultimately the facade cracks, because the true self can't be contained forever and you get brief glimpses of the beast that lies inside. They are a person full of discontent as the character they have formed is not a true extension of themselves.  

Dissociation with MLM is REAL!!! People in MLM are a prime example of dissociation, because one of their mantras is to fake it until you make it! They don't have the lifestyle they spout out on stage or in their videos, they don't have the happiness and satisfaction of earning a great life, they don't have confidence to be honest about who they truly are.  They are a sham, spurious, and a mockery of everything you think is true and good.  They form their character based on the sociological values we strive for, and imitate a personality we find wholesome. MLMers are chameleons of deceit, and the kings and queens of dissociating themselves from the reality they are condemned to.